did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
