I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
