I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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