Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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