the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
vagina is talking i cant
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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