I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
