Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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