I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
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