If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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