Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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