we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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