How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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