TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize