He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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