I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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