i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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