So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
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i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
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We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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