I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
