Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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