Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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