did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
