We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
