Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
