I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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