great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
