Will you blow on my dice?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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