I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
