It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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