Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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