I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
