I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So many bounce houses so little time
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
