found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
That's how pantless uber rides happen
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
