I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
