You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
