When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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