he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize