I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
