we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
