East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
