first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
