Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
