I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
