Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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