is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
