everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
