So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
