I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
