Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
