we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
