My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
