I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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