you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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