two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
