Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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