you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
