oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think my fart just growled at me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
this is an emotional support booty call
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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