i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
