We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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