The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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