dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
