I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
