exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
