I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
