There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So squirting runs in the family.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
