dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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