Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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