i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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