3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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