Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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