i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
